I'm Fed Up!!

Okay, I'll admit, this is a blog about my weight, but I just have to put it out there, in the open, where I can't hide anymore. I'm fat. Yep, I said it. I weigh more now than I did the day I went in to be induced with Trent. And I'm kind of disgusted with myself. Chris says I'm fine the way I am. Other people say it, too. But I can't wear anything I used to, my back fat looks like mini-boobs(Ick, totally, with a capital I), and I'm hot all the time.

Initially, I blamed the weight gain on starting school again and being stressed. It definitely wasn't the fact that I was shoveling candy down my trap as I wrote anatomically correct terms in my notes. Nevermind that the size Large scrubs I'd bought were getting tighter and tighter. Then it was, "Oh, I've never been on birth control before so I'm sure that's it. My body's just not used to the hormones. I'm on my feet for 8+ hours per day, carhopping and whatnot. And I never sit down at home, always doing something around the house." Yet I eat burgers, fries with chili and cheese, and ice cream nearly every day. Well, I'm there, and it's free, so why not? I'll tell you why not... I'm fat! I feel like doo-doo, my feet hurt ALL. THE. TIME., and my hair is falling out the way it was after I had Trent.

I've had some people say I should get my thyroid checked, but I'm really thinking I should try to lose weight first. Before I got pregnant with Trent, I lost 35 pounds with Weight Watchers. I was the queen of the gym, working out 4-5 days per week, planning out a week's worth of meals, eating lots of salads and mixing up the ingredients, counting points like I was getting medal, and feeling great! I was down to the size I was when Chris and I met. I looked awesome!

So, here's what I'm doing: I'm going to eat a better breakfast every day. Since I have to work in the mornings during the week, I will make my coffee at home(I always do this anyway, but now I will put SF creamer in instead of my beloved Vanilla Caramel), bring my oatmeal with me and then eat some apples or a banana for a snack. If I'm there for lunch, I will eat either a grilled chicken salad or sandwich. Also, the chicken strips aren't all that many points, so I may chop one of those up and put it on my salad. And at night, since we're on a budget big time, I will cook for my family and eat only a small portion and supplement the rest with salad and fruit. I will eat fruit and FF popcorn for snacks and drink only water and diet soda. And I will reward myself with something non-food when I reach my mini-goals.

I will commit to working out once per week. I feel this is about all I can do, especially since we're down an manager, and I am working way more than I used to. I still need to see Trent and Chris a fair amount. Yes, I know I deserve to have more time to myself, but I also need to focus on family time as well. As I slip into this new-ish lifestyle change, I will slowly incorporate more work-out time.

I haven't decided whether I will post my stats for all to see. I think that is kind of a private thing. Maybe I'll post the number of pounds and inches lost per week or something of that nature. If you're the praying kind, please do so for me. Thanks so much!