Note I Posted On Facebook Before Trent Was Born

I posted this in a note on Facebook before Trent was born. Just thought I'd share it with you.

As Chris and I lay in bed talking last night, it occurred to me just what a miracle this baby really is. When we first began talking about starting a family, adoption was what we were going to do. My medication and the effects it would have on both the baby and me were pretty staggering, it seemed. We were actually all set, and had moved as far as making an appointment with DHS to start filling out paperwork, and then something made me question it. That "something", I believe, was God.

As the women in my life started having their children, it made me think, maybe I can, too! If my sister-in-law, who had had a still-birth at one point could have another, why couldn't I? If my two great friends had gone through IVF and conceived, why couldn't I? And if my sister and mother, and the rest of our family had, why couldn't I? I thought about it for a few months, even going so far as to tell Chris that I may want to try to have one of our own. We both had decided that maybe it was the fact that my other sister-in-law had just had a baby, that made me want one so badly at the time. Then one of my sorority sisters had just given birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl at the end of May. Bekah, it turns out, also has epilepsy, and was on a far stronger dose of the same medication that I was on. I thought, OK, Lord, is this it? I prayed quietly about it for some time, and kept it to myself, only because I knew that Chris was so set on adopting, and I didn't want to take that away from him.

Well, finally, I got the "guts" in June to tell Chris that what I really wanted more than anything in the world was to try to have our own child. He was a little confused, as we had just been talking about adoption the previous week, but I felt I could held it in no longer. I told him how I had been feeling, and that I believed God had more in store for us, including being biological parents. He was a total trooper and said if that's what I really wanted, that he was all for it. Thank Goodness! I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders as we held one another and cried. He, I think was crying at the prospect of maybe not getting his girl, and I was crying, thanking God that I had such a wonderful, supportive husband.

We first decided that we needed to talk with both my OB and my neurologist to get their opinions before we started trying to get pregnant. Would the risks outweigh the benefits? Would we be able to handle a possibly disabled child? Would we be able to financially shoulder all of the expenses that went along with prenatal care and raising a child? Well, we definitley have been blessed with the resources and the wonderful families to support us emotionally, that is for sure.

After speaking with both my doctors in August, we decided it was time. And thankfully, it only took 2 months. And you know what? The timing could not have been more perfect: school will be out, which means more help during the summer months at the Sonic. Business is better then, so money will not be as much of a worry. Our family members will have vacation time that they are willing to use to help us after he is here. I mean, it just really all worked out! And I know it's all because of God, and His faithfulness to us. Where we falter, He picks up the slack. What an amazing Father is He! Since we have no OB coverage, we are having to pay cash for all of my prenatal care, and even through the slim months of winter, God has somehow allowed us to be able to find the money and make our payments.

This pregnancy has been been completely textbook, even down to the annoying stretching my belly-button is doing at the moment. We've had absolutely no complications whatsoever, and we are blessed for it. Every birth defect the medication could have caused for now, we can't see that it's had any effect on Trent. His neural tube closed, which was the main thing we were worried about. His lip is not cleft, which was another. And next month, we will go for our ultrasound to look at organ development. We have complete faith that everything will be just as God meant for it to be.

I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, growing up in church, participating Youth Group and Youth Choir, being blessed with Christian friends, whose parents are all still happily married, meeting and marrying a man with a love for Jesus. It's just now that I am really noticing how much that all means to me. And the wonderful thing about our Lord is, He will wait until you're ready. He might nudge you along in certain places, and give you challenges to make sure you're paying attention, but when you put your faith and trust in Him, everything just falls into place.

Thank you to all for your prayers. They mean so much to us and can be felt no matter the distance. Thank you, also, to our beautiful families. You mean so much to us, and your support has been unwavering, your love unfaltering. Friends, thank your for your words of encouragement and times of just listening to me. I cannot wait until little Trent meets all of you, and knows the love we do.

A Little of Everything

So, this morning I went see my OB for a follow-up to my possible postpartum depression appointment last month. At first, I didn't want to go to that initial appointment. I felt like I was admitting defeat. Chris pushed me to go, and so I did. I decided that I owed it to myself to be the best I can be. Of everything. And if that meant talking to someone, then so be it. You see, I've always been the "happy girl." The one people came to and could depend on. And that worked for me. For a long time. And then it didn't anymore. It is really hard work always being happy and not wanting people to worry about you. I think that's why it's hard for me to verbalize what I'm feeling. Good feelings? Easy squeezy! You will know I am happy before I do! :) Bad feelings? Yeah, those stay locked inside, only to come out at inappropriate times, mostly to Chris. And unfortunately, Chris was on the receiving end of a lot of crappy feelings. He basically said he couldn't take it anymore, and he wouldn't be my whipping post. That kind of opened my eyes. Poor husband.

After determining that I was possibly depressed because of my inability to get my feelings out, my epilepsy medication has a possibility of mild depression for a side effect, and the fact that my hormones were all over the place since I just had a baby, my doctor gave me some samples of an estrogen patch. Basically, it's a twice a week patch that delivers estrogen. I was sooo excited to start it. And why wouldn't I be? I was doing something great for me, my baby and husband. I made a follow-up appointment for today since it took about 3 to 4 weeks to really see any results from the patch. At first, I felt great, with little side effects. Of course I felt great: I had a great attitude about it, and I really wanted the patch to work. So for 3 weeks, I felt awesome. Then I got my period. Oh. My. Sweet. Jesus. Talk about hormone imbalance! Seriously, if this didn't work because Aunt Flow came to visit, I didn't even want to try it for another day.

So today I went, and she gave me some samples of Lexapro, an antidepressant. I requested it. I am only taking half the recommended dosage, which Dr. E said I could do to start with. Hopefully I can stick with that dose, as I am SO tired of taking medication. That will make 4 pills per day that I take. Two of them being my anti-convulsant, a multi-vitamin, and then the Lexapro. Please, Lord, let this work.

Ode to My Pregnancy Hair and Skin

Dear hair,

I realize that the pregnancy hormones have left my body, but do you really need to come out in multi-increment strands throughout the day? I mean, really, you were some beautiful while I was "with child." And even for the first few months after. Now I feel as though I may go bald if you continue to fall out so steadily...

Now for you, skin: What is the deal with all of the breakouts? Pretty sure I'm not a teenager anymore, and haven't been for awhile now. Please, please, please stop breaking out! I look gross and feel like it, too...

Love,

Korree

No really, it is getting old. I may start taking prenatal vitamins again just to keep up the hair and skin... Wonder if the brand I used during PG is still around? Hmm.

Blessings

A Few Things About Diaper Changes

So, in my vast knowledge of diapers changes, I have come to some pretty astute conclusions, if I do say so myself. First, I never thought I would smell someone else's rear end. But oh yes, now I am a total believer in doing so. How else are you supposed to tell if there's actually poo in there, or if your kid just has gas? That is my job(one of the many) around here. Apparently, Chris will never put his nose near his own kid's butt.

Anyway, that brings me to another point. DO NOT, under any circumstances, put your finger under the band of your kid's diaper to lift up to see if there is poo. I speak from personal experience. As a matter of fact, I violated my own rule just yesterday afternoon when it comes to this. Trent had just awoke from his nap, and he was a stinky boy. So, to see if there was indeed poo in there, I lifted the band and ended up with crap under my fingernail. Neato... And totally disgusting. But here's the thing: You cannot leave your child unattended on the changing table. What if he should decide that is the time he wants to roll over? For the record, he still hasn't rolled over yet, but who's to say he would try at that time? Anyway, so I had poo under my nail, and I couldn't to anything but get as much of it out as I could with a wipe. Of course the sound of my voice during all of this was cracking him up. "Eww, stinky!" "Eww, mommy has poopy under her nail!" Apparently poop is funny to him, too. Fun stuff.

Today, Chris changed one of the stinky diapers. Yea for Daddy!

One more thing: If you have a boy-child, please make sure you put a wash-cloth over the pee-pee, or you'll end up with a wet changing pad cover, and if he's really an over-achiever, a wet wall, too.

Blessings,

Korree

Baby Products and Gear We Love

So, I was thinking this morning about all of the baby items we received and just thought I would say which stuff we loved and why.

1. Pack and Play: Right now, Trent still sleeps in our room in the pack and play. For one, it's so nice to have him in there with us. I know he's fine. I can look over at him any old time I want to, too! Also, rather than let him get super awake in the middle of the night, I can just get up when I hear him stir and make his bottle. This makes for a faster feed and faster falling back asleep.

2. Boppy: We LOVE the Boppy! When we first brought Trent home, he was pretty jaundiced and had to be in the "tanning bed in a suitcase" during the day, and then be wrapped in the biliblanket when he was being bed or swaddled. We also kept him wrapped in the biliblanket, swaddled in his blankie, and then he laid in/on the boppy in bed with us. This made for a much nicer experience with all of the lights. We also use it for feeding him and tummy time.

3. Bumbo Seat: This little seat has really helped Trent with being able to hold his head up well. He's just now 4 months, but has been holding his head up for a good 3 weeks. We feel it's because of the Bumbo that he's able to do that. Also, right now, he's really into sitting up, even going so far as to do "crunches" when he's eating.

4. Dr. Brown's Bottles: These bottles have a unique venting system that prevents air from getting into the nipple. They are WONDERFUL! They are kind of a pain to wash, but I just rinse them out and then put them in the dishwasher basket to sanitize them.

That's all I have time to write for now. I will come up with some more later on. What are some of your favorite baby items?

Blessings everyone,

Korree

What's this all about, anyway?

So, since I blog-stalk on a ton of other blogs, I thought to myself, "Self, why don't you just start a blog. I mean, you're an interesting girl with an interesting life. Maybe people will want to read about you, too?" So, here goes nothing...

I am a thirty-something wifey with a beautiful new son and sweet, cute hubby. We have a nice little house in a nice little city (Moore, OK), where not too much happens, but it's just enough for our taste.

Earlier this week I had made plans with my girlfriends (Sarah, Kim and Julie)to go out to dinner with no kids and no husbands. This was all working out very nicely, when one of the girls' daughters got sick. Okay, one down 3 more to go. Three out of four ain't bad! So then another one said she may have to bring her son. Then I thought, well heck, I'll just bring my kid and then we'll have a mommy-kid date. What the heck? NO!!!! What was I thinking? I needed time, with no kids to think about and no times to be home. Plus, Chris really needs to learn how to put Trent down without my help. I normally do these things, but it's been brought to my attention (um, by myself), that T, as well as C, is really getting used to this, therefore making it impossible for me to EVER enjoy an evening out.

Anyway, so then I thought we'd just shoot for another night. I sent out a collective email(the easiest way to connect with these women) detailing my woes. Then my friend Lisa, who had a baby, Owen 5 weeks after T, decided she needed some non-husband, non-kid time, and was I game? Why yes, I'd just had a cancellation! Momma's night out will commence once again! Except for this morning when I threw up unexpectedly... Almost on the baby, as I was feeding him at the time. The good news is, I did make it to the bathroom. The bad news is, I wasn't going anywhere that night! I felt crappy for about 2 hours after that. During those two hours, I called Lisa to tell her the great news, who, as it turns out, was feeling less than stellar herself. Alright, no harm no foul. We will also shoot for another night.

I ended up going to work since I felt better. Not sure what the deal was, although it could've been the massive amount of sinus drainage that's been plaguing me lately that gave me an upset tummy. Hopefully, I'll feel well enough to go An Affair of the Heart at the fairgrounds with my sister-in-law and the kids tomorrow morning. LOVE that show!

So, tonight, here I sit. We had yummy Burger King for dinner after I fed T his rice cereal, which he freaking loves! He looks so darn cute in his new highchair. Okay, when I say "new", I mean "new to us." We are both big believers in Ebay and craigslist. Most everything we've gotten for the baby has been from either place or consignment stores. Really, what is the point in spending big bucks on stuff they won't use for a long time. As long as there are no recalls, we are good to go.

Chris just got Trent out of the tub, so my duties as mommy will resume.

Blessings,

Korree