As Chris and I lay in bed talking last night, it occurred to me just what a miracle this baby really is. When we first began talking about starting a family, adoption was what we were going to do. My medication and the effects it would have on both the baby and me were pretty staggering, it seemed. We were actually all set, and had moved as far as making an appointment with DHS to start filling out paperwork, and then something made me question it. That "something", I believe, was God.
As the women in my life started having their children, it made me think, maybe I can, too! If my sister-in-law, who had had a still-birth at one point could have another, why couldn't I? If my two great friends had gone through IVF and conceived, why couldn't I? And if my sister and mother, and the rest of our family had, why couldn't I? I thought about it for a few months, even going so far as to tell Chris that I may want to try to have one of our own. We both had decided that maybe it was the fact that my other sister-in-law had just had a baby, that made me want one so badly at the time. Then one of my sorority sisters had just given birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl at the end of May. Bekah, it turns out, also has epilepsy, and was on a far stronger dose of the same medication that I was on. I thought, OK, Lord, is this it? I prayed quietly about it for some time, and kept it to myself, only because I knew that Chris was so set on adopting, and I didn't want to take that away from him.
Well, finally, I got the "guts" in June to tell Chris that what I really wanted more than anything in the world was to try to have our own child. He was a little confused, as we had just been talking about adoption the previous week, but I felt I could held it in no longer. I told him how I had been feeling, and that I believed God had more in store for us, including being biological parents. He was a total trooper and said if that's what I really wanted, that he was all for it. Thank Goodness! I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders as we held one another and cried. He, I think was crying at the prospect of maybe not getting his girl, and I was crying, thanking God that I had such a wonderful, supportive husband.
We first decided that we needed to talk with both my OB and my neurologist to get their opinions before we started trying to get pregnant. Would the risks outweigh the benefits? Would we be able to handle a possibly disabled child? Would we be able to financially shoulder all of the expenses that went along with prenatal care and raising a child? Well, we definitley have been blessed with the resources and the wonderful families to support us emotionally, that is for sure.
After speaking with both my doctors in August, we decided it was time. And thankfully, it only took 2 months. And you know what? The timing could not have been more perfect: school will be out, which means more help during the summer months at the Sonic. Business is better then, so money will not be as much of a worry. Our family members will have vacation time that they are willing to use to help us after he is here. I mean, it just really all worked out! And I know it's all because of God, and His faithfulness to us. Where we falter, He picks up the slack. What an amazing Father is He! Since we have no OB coverage, we are having to pay cash for all of my prenatal care, and even through the slim months of winter, God has somehow allowed us to be able to find the money and make our payments.
This pregnancy has been been completely textbook, even down to the annoying stretching my belly-button is doing at the moment. We've had absolutely no complications whatsoever, and we are blessed for it. Every birth defect the medication could have caused for now, we can't see that it's had any effect on Trent. His neural tube closed, which was the main thing we were worried about. His lip is not cleft, which was another. And next month, we will go for our ultrasound to look at organ development. We have complete faith that everything will be just as God meant for it to be.
I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, growing up in church, participating Youth Group and Youth Choir, being blessed with Christian friends, whose parents are all still happily married, meeting and marrying a man with a love for Jesus. It's just now that I am really noticing how much that all means to me. And the wonderful thing about our Lord is, He will wait until you're ready. He might nudge you along in certain places, and give you challenges to make sure you're paying attention, but when you put your faith and trust in Him, everything just falls into place.
Thank you to all for your prayers. They mean so much to us and can be felt no matter the distance. Thank you, also, to our beautiful families. You mean so much to us, and your support has been unwavering, your love unfaltering. Friends, thank your for your words of encouragement and times of just listening to me. I cannot wait until little Trent meets all of you, and knows the love we do.
This pregnancy has been been completely textbook, even down to the annoying stretching my belly-button is doing at the moment. We've had absolutely no complications whatsoever, and we are blessed for it. Every birth defect the medication could have caused for now, we can't see that it's had any effect on Trent. His neural tube closed, which was the main thing we were worried about. His lip is not cleft, which was another. And next month, we will go for our ultrasound to look at organ development. We have complete faith that everything will be just as God meant for it to be.
I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, growing up in church, participating Youth Group and Youth Choir, being blessed with Christian friends, whose parents are all still happily married, meeting and marrying a man with a love for Jesus. It's just now that I am really noticing how much that all means to me. And the wonderful thing about our Lord is, He will wait until you're ready. He might nudge you along in certain places, and give you challenges to make sure you're paying attention, but when you put your faith and trust in Him, everything just falls into place.
Thank you to all for your prayers. They mean so much to us and can be felt no matter the distance. Thank you, also, to our beautiful families. You mean so much to us, and your support has been unwavering, your love unfaltering. Friends, thank your for your words of encouragement and times of just listening to me. I cannot wait until little Trent meets all of you, and knows the love we do.
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